Smarties and toast.  They’re Grrrrrreat!

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By the way, we are now back from two weeks of vacationing!  Stay tuned for exciting stories and photos!

My husband just called.  He’s on his way home from school.  I may, or may not, have been a tad snippy with him.  Okay, I bit the poor man’s head off!  So he, darling man that he is, says: “Are you ornery?”  Heck Yeah!

• My brother’s dog ate my favorite pair of sandals.
• I just spent 4 hours going to 6 different stores with a toddler and baby looking for replacement shoes.
• There are no replacement shoes.
• I spent last night sandwiched between two babies. 
• I got zero sleep.
• I have gained ten pounds since I gave birth to Lil’ Man.
• Ten POUNDS!
• I have a mountain of dirty laundry to wash.
• I have a mountain of clean laundry to fold, and put away.
• There are animal crackers smashed into my living room chair.
• There is always something smashed somewhere is my house.
• My son pooped on the floor today. 
• Twice

But now, my husband is home, and he is crawling around on the floor playing with the baby.  And it got me thinking.

I shouldn’t be ornery, because:

• My brother is paying for my new shoes.
• My mom spent her whole evening helping me shop.
• I spent last night sandwiched between two beautiful babies.
• I still weigh less than I did when I had Jambers (that has to count for something right?).
• That mountain of laundry comes from having a heck of a good time getting our clothes dirty!
• Okay, I can’t think of a plus side to having food smashed somewhere in my house. 
• (Unless it’s that we aren’t starving).
• If my son poops on the floor, that is one less diaper that I will have to wash. 
• Make that two diapers. 
• (See, I bet you didn’t think I’d find a positive side to having poop on my floor!)

This does not make you a bad mother:

*

Neither does:

Letting your toddler watch an inordinate amount of television so you can finish the latest best-seller

Telling your child that Nemo is sleeping, so you don’t have to watch it one more time

Allowing your child to eat directly out of the ice-cream bucket.  For lunch.

Taking your babies hot-tubbing at 10:30 at night. 

So, what kinds of sneaky “good mommy” things do you do?

*By the way, one of the few words my son can say is “coke!”

I’ve been thinking lately.  Is the life I’m living the one that I really want to live?  I mean, the framework that I want is there.  I have a wonderful husband, two beautiful kids, I am blessed to stay at home.  But I’m wondering if what I fill that framework with is what I had always hoped.  I have a feeling that maybe I am wearing myself out, running around, doing things that don’t really matter.  I feel like maybe I’m worrying about the wrong things.  And maybe if I just thought about what is really important to my family, I could let go of a lot of things; and just be.  Just be the mom and wife that I always wanted to be.  There is a lot of pressure in our culture to conform, to do things just so, to be like (or better than) everyone else.  To worry about what everyone else thinks.  We may not talk about it much, but it’s there.  That’s why companies spend billions of dollars on advertising, and why we compulsively apologize to visitors for our “messy” houses (even though we know they’re as clean as they have been in weeks).  (C’mon, I’m not the only one who does that right?)

So, I’m going to make two lists.

List one:  Things I Think Are Expected of Me as an American, Mormon, Mom. 

List two:  Things That Are Important to My Family. 

I have a feeling that when I’m done, I’ll find that I have been a slave (even unconciously) to what I think other people think I should be doing or accomplishing.  

So, I’m going to throw out list one.  And start living list two.

What about you guys?  Do you think there are things you do, subconciously or otherwise, because you assume people expect you to? 

At my house, our heating and cooling options hark back to the last century.  Decrepit furnace from the 80’s, and a swamp cooler.  Which works alright when it is up and running.  But the problem is, you actually have to get it up and running.  Oh, how I envy those of you who can just flick on your central air when those odd 90 degree days pop up.  The rest of us with swamp coolers are stuck sweltering in our homes because just 2 days ago it was in the 70’s and we thought we had time. 

Right now, it’s 85 degrees in my house…and climbing.  But that’s nothing.  Last night, when my husband decided to go on a chocolate-chip-cookie-baking-frenzy, it was 90 degrees.  90.  At 9:30 at night!  Today it’s so hot, I think my poor baby must be getting dehydrated from nursing, because we are both dripping sweat by the time we’re done. 

Don’t feel too bad for us.  We have a fan.  And it should be in the 60’s again by Wednesday.  You can be sure we’ll use the break from the heat to hook up our swamp cooler!

Have you ever noticed how you can say just about anything, about anyone, as long as you follow it with ”bless her heart…”

Example:

“She can’t cook worth a darn, bless her heart!”

If you want to shake things up a bit, you can alternately use:

“I love her dearly, but…”

or

“She’s the sweetest person, but…”

If you really want to make it good, use all three.

“I love her dearly, and she is the sweetest person, but, she has a face like a cow.  Bless her heart.”

See how nicely that works?  Give a try sometime, you’ll be suprised.

Congrats to my brother- and sister-in-law, Kenneth and Ali. Their new baby boy arrived today, weighing in at 11 lbs, 1 oz., 22 inches. Yeah, you read that right.  (Normal birth, one small tear.)  Ali, you totally rock, and are my birthing hero! I am so proud of you! 

My sis-in-law sent this to me, and I thought it would make a good post. Happy Mother’s Day!

Before I was a Mom

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom

I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put him down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.

I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,

the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

I woke up this morning, rolled over, and found myself staring at the business end of Pumba the Warthog.

Yup.  Apparently, sometime in the middle of the night, Jambers decided to haul ALL of his stuffed animals into our room.  And then go back to sleep in his brother’s bassinet. 

Hmmm. Luckily Lil’ Man was in bed with me.  What cracks me up about this is that it takes several trips for him to move all his stuffed animals. ( I know, because this is a common occurance.  Though until now it has been a daytime event.)   That means that in the middle of the night he thought “Hmn.  I think I’m going to move all my stuffed animals into mom and dad’s room.”  And then he did.  I can just see him: troopin’ up and down the hall, in the dark, with his fluffy friends.  Too funny.

What’s new around here?  Well, Lil’ Man has apparantly decided to become a yogi. Classes will be taught daily, on the hour. Admission is $45. (Hey, Baby Yoga is all the rage!)
The Plank pose

The Cobra pose

The Swimming Dolphin Pose

In other news, Jambers had decided to beging cloth diapering and breastfeeding his baby doll.  (NO, this is NOT a framed picture.)  While there are obvious flaws in his plan, I commend his pioneering spirit.  Go Jambers!